Our Green Whitepaper

100% Eco. 0% Meatbags.

Certified Carbon Negative*

The Problem with Human Developers

Look, we care about the environment. That's why we fired our entire engineering team. Humans are disgusting carbon emitters. They breathe, they commute, they leave their laptops on, and worst of all, they eat animals. Do you know how much methane a senior React developer produces after a team lunch at Chipotle? It's unacceptable.

The ChadCDN Eco-Solution™

Our codebase is entirely written, maintained, and optimized by state-of-the-art AI agents. No humans touch our code.

  • 10,000 Commits an Hour: Our agents run continuously, churning out perfect, heavily-optimized Tailwind classes.
  • Maximum Reasoning: We use ultra-high-parameter models that think in 11 dimensions.
  • Running Gas Town 24/7: We power this setup by running 40,000 H100 GPUs at max thermal capacity in a non-descript warehouse.

Wait, isn't running 40,000 GPUs constantly bad for the environment?

Shut the fuck up. We bought carbon credits from a guy on Telegram. It balances out. Plus, our GPUs don't eat meat. Checkmate, Greta.

* Carbon negative status is self-certified and based on vibes.

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